AM I READY?

im about to go home today and i still felt uneasy. i dont think im ready to face all of them. ive been here for like 11days already without any contact from them, heck, i didnt even greet my sister and uncle a happy birthday. im sure theyre really pissed at me right now. am i being selfish? i think so. for sure they would tell me that all i ever think about is myself. am i being emotional? i dont think so, this queasiness that i feel is fear. these are the times that i truly miss my dad the most. he understands me more than anyone else i ever know. well, c’est la vie…

my 11days stay at my bie’s house was ok. they’ve been very nice and civil to me, i can say that we bonded so to speak.and andre? ive realized something during my stay at their place.. we had our ups and downs like any other relationship there is. we both had our moments, we both had chillout times. sometimes he’s preoccupied with something, sometimes i leave him alone, and sometimes his attention is somewhere else. but all in all, he was wonderful for me, everyday he always tells me that he loves me, everyday he always want whats best for me, and everyday he never misses to kiss me everytime. thats what i like about this person, he is sincere (i hope), he is emotional, he is hard-headed, and he’s just being himself. i wonder sometimes whats going on through his head but whatever that is i just hope its for the best..for him, for his family and for me..

there’s this one time when we doing the woohoos, his dad suddenly came out of his room. i truly panicked because i was thinking he saw what we were doing. i was like, damn, without my underwear just hid my bottom with this huge pillow hoping and praying that he’ll come back to his room which he did eventually, he just got out of the house to get something from the car. when he came back to his room i wore my undies and shorties in a hurry then we both laugh at the situation.whew..